hfdislanjlk

well im working as a custodian, cleanign and getting a school ready for the next school year. the people are nice and the job is ok. Im also working as a pizza boy at times when they need me. Its worth it and think that i have actually began to move my life around in a different direction. Hopefully it is in a good one but only time will tell.

These jobs leave me with little time to go walking or running or other active things. I still need to lose weight and get in shape. Im working on cutting back on food but the past two days i have been slipping. I gotta get back on schedule.

Every night i have been having pretty much the same dream, where tricia and i just hang out and eventually fall asleep together, its not good. It just makes me miss her so much more. I know that its going to be tough but the not talking to her sucks. I know that she missed me an she knows i miss her but theres nothing we can really do about it unless she wants to get back together. It just sucks because i miss her and i still love her. I know i keep saying the same things over and over again but i just dont know what else to say.

upping the anty

walked just under 8 miles today, worked for 4 hours, played basketball and tossed a disc around. IT was an all-right day, i need to up the anti to so that i can lose weight and get ready for the firefighters exam. Its time to get serious. I need to lose weight, gain cardio and muscle. Im going to start 8 minute abs in addition to excrutiators, sit ups and push ups. Its going to be hard but it will be well worth it in the end i think.

keep it going

so last night i did sit ups and push ups before i went to sleep. I had also walked 4 miles with my mom. I need to start walking more.

I also started to eat less, mostly because i want to lose weight and become healthy, but also because i just havent had an appetite. Its hard for me to eat knowing that The girl that I love and miss, and i are not talking. It might be fore the best but I not sure how. I want to see her and hold her but I do not think that she feels the same way. Maybe once in a while she does, but she is also trying to keep busy and not think about it all the time. It is hard on both of us i know but I still wish that we could talk and see each other, even though its probably not a good idea. I really dont know what to think anymore. I just have to keep myself busy and hope for the best.

Im going to keep reading and trying to lose weight, and soon I will start studying for the Firefighters exam. I really want to do well on it so Im going to give it my best effort ever.

On the job front, I have been asking around and one Custodial Engineer offered me the job but not until the first or second week in July. Thats going to be hard, but it will be good. It depends on the days that he gives me but i might not be able to go to the Invasion of Normandy paintball trip. It all depends on what days he will have me working. I would really want to go but if i cant, I cant. I was also offered to work this sunday making pizza for the pizza place down the block. I dont mind at all, in fact i would love to do it.

idk

well i miss Tricia so much. I know that we are no longer together but i still miss her and love her. I wish I knew what to do or to say but maybe that wont even help. I guess ill just have to wait

today

basketball

football

tossed a disc

swam

walked

tomorrow rinse and repeat

walking

started walking today walked 4.5 miles, gonna bring that up a notch everyday and then gonna start running.

FireFighter

So i am going to take the firefighters exam this september. Im going to be studying for that all summer as well as trying to lose weight and get in shape. Im actually rather hoping on getting called so that it will give me something to look forward to.